Survivor Redemption Island Winner

Survivor - Redemption Island is now done.
Tonight we get multiple challenges, something like three Tribal Councils, some sort of mass slaughter at the dueling ground and the reveal of a winner.

The odds-on favorite to take this thing is Rob.

The question being asked is, however, does he deserve it?

If you are judging pure game play, of course he deserves it. He has played cleverly and got lucky in that his cleverness worked out.

Luck? Yes, luck.

Way back, way way back, on day one when the helicopter dropped Rob and Russell on the beach, the coin toss or buff draw or whatever it was put Rob on a team that was made up of exactly the right people to make his play work.

It could not have been better if Rob had had free run of central casting.

He got a naïve kid and a bunch of manipulative girls and Phillip.

Yes, he also got that woman who was so determined to prove herself that she committed instant game suicide and he got a strong man sidekick who also fell somewhat into the naïve category.

Side note: Does the N in NFL stand for Naïve? Both Grant and Steve seem to have had more than a full measure of gullible.

If Rob had gotten the other tribe, his path to the throne would have been harder.

He would have been up against a different group agenda. And as long as we are flipping scenarios, let’s think about what Russell would have done if dealing with Phillip? Two explosive types in one camp? BOOM.

Anyway, Rob did get lucky back on day one. He got the people he needed to make his battle plan work and he has lead them by the nose ever since. Yes, that is a mixed metaphor. Sorry.

Personally, I have another definition for “deserve”. It is based on being able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.

When any of us say “I would do anything to win” we each have a different measurement of “anything”.

Personally, I am a conservative on that subject.

I’ll bob and weave and dodge.I’ll bob and weave and dodge the question if I feel it will benefit me and harm no one else but I won’t flat out lie. I’m of the old “my word is my bond” school and I just can’t go around saying “trust me” if I don’t mean it.

Also personally, I am trusting. I have been skunked by the best and by many where I really should have known better.

I’m working on the motto “trust no one” but some still get by. I must be getting better. I trusted Grant. With Rob I smelled snake oil from the first episode of his first try for the prize ten years ago.

But this is also why I sit here, safely on my sofa, issuing commentaries rather than getting sunburned on a beach trying to outwit the witless while I’m being played for a fool by someone else.

I have to be able to look in the mirror in the morning. I have to be able to live with myself in the dark of a sleepless night. Life is unfair enough without putting myself into a situation where unfair will most likely triumph over honesty.

Enough. Tighten your seatbelts, here we go.

First, of course, Jeff takes advantage of the two hour time span to bring us up to speed on everything that has happened since day one.

Twelve episodes and Jeff can recap the whole thing in six minutes. Whew.

That would, of course, mean that hindsight is 20/20 and that Jeff tells it the way the producers want it to have been. Also of course, Jeff is one of the producers. Just sayin’.

Prime example is Jeff’s statement that Phillip is an obvious target and getting on everyone’s nerves. HAH. Say it again, HAH. Sure Phillip is a drippy faucet getting on everyone’s nerves, but with Rob in charge Phillip is not a target.

The teasers say that Rob will win. The teasers say that the girls will overthrow Rob. The teasers say that Phillip is actually a brilliant actor and prize manipulator and will take it all.

Youz pays you money and youz takes you choice. Just remember who writes the teasers.

First up is the scene of Grant making his way to Redemption Island. He tells us he didn’t expect to be blindsided but that whether it was Rob or Phillip, it’s all okay. Andrea is less than okay. She’s not looking forward to competing against Grant.

It’s the after party at Stuffed Animal Beach. Rob is trying to make peace with himself for having engineered the eviction of a friend.

Rob shares his strategy about what happens to an Islander who comes back in the game. Mostly he mutters, but he does flat out say that Andrea has to be voted out if she comes back.

Back at the Island, we have Back at the Island, we have Matt telling us that the Island is now home. He’s been there for twenty nine days. And speaking of numbers, he has fought eleven duels.

Tree mail has arrived for the Islanders and, boys and girls, we have answers. Actual answers written on a tree mail scroll.

It’s the final duel. The winner will return to the game. The three non-winners will join the jury.

Okay. It sounds fair. It sounds reasonable. The only hiccup that I can see is the huge jury.

Is that anything like packing the Supreme Court? Hmmm.

Mike says that he’s also fond of Redemption Island. He’s been out there for fourteen days.

As the four Islanders walk in to the arena, it’s impressive: Matt who has fought eleven times; Mike who is no slouch with at least one win under his belt; and now Grant who is a force to be reckoned with.

Andrea isn’t bad herself although strength wise, I think she’s outgunned here. She tends to be a whiner.

Phillip, Rob, Natalie and Ashley are sitting there looking like vultures waiting for a fresh kill.

Dang it. We should have expected it. It’s a concentration competition. These are often won by girls who do yoga.

And we are dealing with equipment that will shatter with a nice noisy crash. I’ve said before that there is a prop master who loves the sound of breaking crockery.

Here’s the deal. There is a lever, or see-saw or teeter-totter or whatever you want to call it. On one end is a ceramic pot. The Islander has to stand on one foot and put the other on the end of the lever, bringing the pot up off the ground so the lever is in balance.

The islander is holding that foot so that the foot end does not touch down and the end with the pot does not touch down either.

I have a cramp just typing this.

I think this is anyone’s game. I’m placing my bets before they start.

I think Grant will be out first. I don’t think this is his forte. I can’t speak for Andrea.

Mike showed massive concentration on a previous challenge getting beaten only by a distracting fly and Matt can go into his own meditative and prayerful space. I really don’t know. I guess I’ll put my nickel on Mike.

Time passes and the sun blazes Time passes and the sun blazes. It’s been 20 minutes and Grant loses his balance but recovers. Matt and Mike ditto.

Time passes and the sun blazes. Grant has a cramp and Mike has a twitch.

Grant is out. One small point for me.

Time passes and the sun blazes. Matt’s vase falls. He can’t believe it. Andrea is having some cramping. Mike is having more cramping. Lots of recoveries but not enough. Mike’s vase falls.

Andrea is back in the game.

Now before we go any further, let’s take a deep breath and ponder a couple of facts of life.

One: Rob said a paragraph or so ago that if Andrea came back he’d get rid of her in a heartbeat.

Two: They have been teasing us for days about a female mutiny. With Andrea back, the girls could do it.

Rob is going to have to dance faster than Gene Kelly to get out of this one if the girls are clever. Promises are going to be made and made and made.

Three: The jury now consists of the entire Purple Zapatera tribe, plus Matt and Grant who have both been screwed over with lies and deceit.

Jeff is telling the Islanders that Andrea is back in the game. Grant is Juror #5. Matt is Juror #6. Mike is Juror #7. That’s the order of falling vases.

Jeff reunites Andrea with the Ometepe foursome. She says that the gloves are off. It’s an individual game.

Rob shares that Ashley is the bigger threat, so unless Ashley wins immunity, Andrea can stay one more day and Ashley is out.

Personally I’m not sure these three women could orchestrate lemmings over a cliff based solely on their track record to date, but maybe they have been hiding their smarts.

It’s day 36 on Stuffed Animal Beach. Everyone is congratulating Andrea. She doesn’t believe anyone really.

But, no dummy, Andrea immediately starts playing the game. She crawls into the shelter to have a confab with Ashley. She shares that the others on the Island refer to the girls as Rob’s puppets.

Wow. Do you think this is news to them? What did they think their role was if not bobble-head puppets?

Then Andrea tells Ashley and Natalie that Ralph has said he is going to vote for Phillip.

This is telling. Even Ralph has focused on Phillip’s place in Rob’s order of precedence.

My opinion has been, as you know, that the “mad at Rob” votes will go to the as yet unnamed third person rather than Phillip.

I don’t think anyone wants to reward Phillip for his peculiar game play. And, I do think that some people who were screwed over by Rob will vote for him anyway because he has played a good game.

Assuming the girls do try to do a gotcha and get rid of him.

Where are we in the timeline, anyway? There are five bodies in the game, so Rob can still play the idol tonight, yes?

I never remember from season to season whether it’s up to five or after five. It’s been so long since an idol has been played meaningfully this late in the game. I guess we’ll find out. If tonight is the last time for the idol, Rob will play it. Period.

Now Ashley asks if Mike said he would vote for Phillip. Andrea waffles a little. Then she tells us that she is making it all up.

That’s a gotcha. The little vixen snookered me!

Andrea exits stage left. Ashley and Natalie continue. If Andrea wins immunity they want to go after Phillip. They note that Rob wants to keep Phillip around, but they say that’s not their problem. Now they actually say they are not sure they trust Rob so much.

OMG. There is a 25 watt light-bulb on Stuffed Animal Beach and one of the girls has found it.

It’s dim but they are starting to see. Five weeks of dancing to Rob’s tune before they begin to see that free will applies to them too.

But, in case you sense an all-girl juggernaut being built, Natalie says “let’s just concentrate on relaxing today and figuring it all out tomorrow.”

Aesop wrote fables about this strategy. Scarlett O’Hara tried to ignore the American Civil War with it.

Yep, girls. Just hang back and take a nap. Nothing will happen while you are sleeping.

Sure ‘nuff. Ashley has told Rob that if Andrea wins immunity, Phillip must go. Ashley has told Phillip that if Andrea wins immunity, Rob must go. Rob and Phillip are in agreement that Ashley must go.

Looks like the only person safe at the next vote is Natalie.

Rob now tells us that Ashley’s strategy is pure Amateur Hour but that Natalie is “a good hearted little soul; loyal.” That sounds like a very dangerous thing to say to a camera guy, Rob. It probably means that Natalie is about to pull a coup.

I don’t know that. And I still think that Rob will play his idol no matter what.

As the sun sets, the edict from His Imperial Majesty is that the word must go out that it is Andrea going but it’s really Ashley.

The sun rises on day 37 and there’s our man Jeff on the beach. There are long rows with what look like puzzle stations at the end.

It’s a balance beam challenge. There are bags of puzzle pieces salted along the way. They have to be picked up. When the player gets to the end, he/she can start to make the puzzle.

One: It’s not a puzzle. There are simply 100 numbered tiles and they have to be placed in the puzzle frame in order.

Two: Nothing was said about going back to the start if you fall off the beam. We’ll have to see.

Aha. Jeff now tells them that if they fall, they DO have to go back. And, the puzzle piece bags are tied to the beam, so they have to deal with that too.

OK … Rob got his first bag and ran the beam and was first. It’s a one at a time and go back and do it again deal.

The first bag has numbers one through ten. What is hard about this? The tiles are square, they fit, the numbers are clear and underscored so you don’t try to put them upside down.

What am I missing?

Rob is still leaps and bounds, quite literally, ahead of the next two. The next two are Ashley and Andrea who are running neck and neck. Phillip is having balance issues and Natalie is nowhere.

As Phillip falls and has to start again we find that the second bag has twenty pieces in it. Rob is back with his third bag. It’s close between Rob and Ashley. Natalie is back in it and Phillip is out of contention.

Ashley is in the lead. Rob has an odd technique but cannot catch Ashley. She wins by two tiles.

Ashley is safe for the final four.

It really depends on that idol. Is it still good? I don’t think anyone knows that Rob found it.

Is Rob the only person in the history of Hidden Immunity Idols who has kept the little trinket a total secret from everyone? And still had it to play at the end?

If that idol is still good and the girls try to pull off a coup, whoever Rob votes for will be gone. And that will be Andrea. Funny if it happens.

Back on the beach, Ashley is exulting and congratulating herself. Rob says Andrea is going home. He tells Andrea that she’s going home.

Aha. I’m right. Rob has his idol and it’s good.

Ashley and Natalie have figured out that Rob is keeping Phillip for a reason. They have just discussed that if they get rid of Andrea tonight, it could be Ashley next time, so they pledge to each other to vote for Phillip next time. BFF pinky swear.

Phillip watched. Then Phillip reported back to Rob. And he does it in front of Andrea which confuses her tremendously.

So now the girls are talking. Andrea is proposing voting out Rob. Natalie is buying into it. They are looking at shooting for an all-girl finals.

Now Rob is teasing us that he has Natalie so he doesn’t need his idol. I hope he was just yanking our string. If not, he’ll go down in history and the dumbest survivor ever, supplanting James.

The Tribal Council discussion is not revealing anything we haven’t heard already tonight.

Light bulb alert. Rob’s head snapped around when Natalie said that Rob was a threat.

It’s the vote. Andrea votes for Rob. The rest are secret. Jeff asks for the idol and Rob plays his. The coup will fail if indeed it was launched.

Rob, Andrea, Andrea, Andrea. It looks like the coup was all in Andrea’s mind and it didn’t work.

Speaking of work, all that effort and fun on Redemption Island was for nothing.

Matt won his way off and was summarily returned. Andrea won her way off and was summarily voted off. It was fun, but with a player like Rob and his flimsy band of odd ducks, it was pointless. Maybe next time, Burnett.

The Stuffed Animal Beach after party shows that everyone is fake hugging and being happy about final four.

Ah, Phillip is now telling us that he didn’t know that Rob had an idol but he suspected it. Shurrrr!

Promises Promises. Rob is promising the girls that it’s the three of them to the end.

Do you really think he’ll leave Phillip by the wayside?

Oh fiddle. It’s the rat maze. There are four bags of puzzle pieces for each stashed within the maze. The player has to make a puzzle at the top of the pyramid. You’ve seen it before.

Rob finds one and Ashley is following him.

Phillip has found one. Rob and Ashley with Phillip right behind.

Ashley’s strategy is to follow Rob wherever he goes. Phillip is dead ended.

Rob found his fourth. Ashley has four and Phillip has three. Natalie is stuck at one.

Rob has climbed the pyramid but Ashley is still dogging him.

It’s a four word phrase. Rob is proposing that he and Ashley work together. One of them is maybe sandbagging the other. Rob was either scamming Ashley or had a sudden epiphany.

Rob wins immunity. Rob is going to the final three.

Rob is crying. He says he’s good at final three even if he doesn’t win.

Personally I’d get rid of Ashley. She’s at least played the game. Natalie has been pretty much a nothing and Phillip has been Phillip.

When someone is determined to vote against you, if you give them choices that are worse than you, they might change their mind.

It sounds like Natalie is a sure thing to go with him. He’s now saying don’t tell Phillip that it’s Phillip going home. The girls have this major pinky swear going on.

Now Rob is trying to convince Natalie to do the strong thing and vote out Ashley. He’s really working it. Rob is making promises again. It may have worked. It may not. The “friend” thing is resonating with her.

At Tribal Council, Rob says it’s about taking people you can beat.

Natalie says she’s been with Rob since day one.

Phillip says that he’s been loyal to Rob and has been no threat to anyone.

Ashley says that she has had opportunities to throw Rob under the bus and didn’t.

Those last two make zero sense to me.

It’s time to vote.

Ashley votes Phillip; Phillip votes Ashley. Now Ashley and Ashley.

So, our final three is Phillip who has blustered and blabbed and won nothing. Nada. Zip.

It is also Natalie who has sucked up and drifted and come in last time after time.

And Rob, the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful Rob.

I smell a potential landslide. Even the people who were royally screwed over by Rob are bound to want to vote for someone who played the game.

It is sunrise on the last day.
Phillip two feathers has thanked his great-great-grandfather for the experience. He also tells us that he’s planning to rub salt into the juror’s wounds.

Boy, Phil, that will get you a vote or two.

He also indicates that he’s got a script all planned and I for one am likely to leave the room.

The final three are stuffing their faces and talking drivel.

Then Phillip ceremonially burns is pink panties. And he makes another speech concerning his ancestor.

Mr. Phillip “Dress for Success” Shepard, has arrived at Tribal Council wrapped in a scarlet blanket with two ceremonial feathers sprouting from his head.

Natalie: I played the best game I could, stuck with Rob, loyal and used my social skills.

Phillip: I had to change my whole game as soon as Rob came into the game. He thanks Rob for everything and credits the Stealth plan.

Rob: won challenges, put together many alliances. Then he brings up the 117 days and the ten years and then Amber and his child.

Now it’s time for the questioning. I pray no one asks Phillip anything. Please. Please.

Andrea tells Phillip that he’s weird and she asks “who is the real Phillip Shepard”. Idiot man says “you have had 39 days to figure me out. If you don’t know who I am, then don’t vote for me.”

Andrea asks Natalie about her betrayal of friendship and coattail riding.

Ashley tells Phillip that she wants to comment but that he’s not to respond. She doesn’t ever want to hear his voice again.

He immediately goes all psycho-Philip with the back chat and finger waggle.

When she finally gets a word in edgewise, she says she wants to thank him. That shuts him up.

She says thank you for teaching me that if I can survive 38 days with you I can survive anything.

Ashley questions Natalie about her promise to let her, Ashley, know if the vote started swinging her way. Natalie tap danced ineffectively.

She queries Rob about “I get that this is a game and I don’t really know you and don’t want to.”

Grant asks Natalie about the dynamic of alliance. She babbles the party line. Rob says it was the threat thing. Grant doesn’t even address Phillip.

Ralph says that he doesn’t think Natalie can’t do anything without Rob. He asks Phillip about feathers. Ralph says he admires Phillip.
Matt has a question for Rob. Where is the line drawn on lying, manipulating, etc.? It’s a question of who you really are.

Julie. None of you played a respectable game. Natalie, do you think your parents will be proud of you. Julie and Phillip get into it and it’s fairly ugly. Phillip curses her.

Mike asks what the three people learned about themselves.

Rob says he’s done with this game. It’s time to go home and be a husband and father.

Natalie babbles and Phillip trots out his resume again.

Steve commends Natalie on simply surviving. Rob is strong. Phillip is shameful.

David decides to make his closing argument to the jury. David says Phillip is undeserving and Natalie made no decisions. David says Rob deserves the votes.

If I ever need a courtroom lawyer, I’m calling David.

HEY, while this last commercial is running, did you notice what we didn’t have to live through?

The trek of the fallen comrades. No long walk on the beach ending with a bonfire of old torches. Yippee, yahoo.

Voting preview shows David voting for Rob and Crazy Ralph voting for Crazy Phillip.

And in New York, Note in the front row, a dark haired woman with a new infant. The newest little Mariano, I assume.

Jeff asks Natalie if she thinks she has a shot. She babbles about doing her best … we’ve heard it before.

Votes: Rob, Phillip, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob.

Rob wins.

On game play of Outwit, and Outlast, that would be correct.

The jury question about living with yourself as a man, it’s ugly but the other two were so seriously undeserving that there was no other choice.

And I don’t care to honor the fractured ego of Phillip Shepard with one minute of the reunion show.

Survivor Redemption Island Winner