Friday, May 13, 2011

Heart Attack Grill


An anti-climactic grand opening for a new burger joint in Dallas's West End.
The Heart Attack Grill closed its doors at 12:15 pm, an hour and fifteen minutes after opening. The restaurant reportedly has operating issues in the kitchen.
The restaurant opened at 11 a.m. Friday to a long line of people ready to try out the shamelessly high-calorie offerings.
Dallas' David Mathemy was first in line. He arrived at 6 a.m. He told News 8 he skipped breakfast to make room for a hearty lunch. He is planning on ordering a "double bypass burger" and flatline French fries, two of the signature dishes.
Protesters from Slimming World served fruit to those gathering outside the new restaurant which boasts a menu full of artery clogging food.
Protester Laurel Wright told News 8 she has lost 80 pounds eating mostly whole foods and takes issue with the Heart Attack Grill for "glorifying obesity."
"It is about moderation," said Wright. "There isn’t anything, from what I can tell, served in there that is good for you."
The medically themed restaurant allows those who weigh 350 pounds or more to eat for free. Waitresses are dressed in tight-fitting nursing uniforms. The owner calls himself Dr.Jon, although he has no medical training.
When asked about his shamelessly high calorie offerings, which can total up to 8,000 calories, Dr.Jon told News 8, it is all about moderation.
"This is a safety valve that I recommend and I do prescribe one time per week," said Dr. Jon. "Don’t come here every week. If you do, you’re gonna die."
He said everybody needs a cheat day and that's the purpose his restaurant seeks to serve.
Heart Attack Grill spokesperson Blair River recently died of pneumonia.
He weighed in at 575 pounds and was 29-years-old when he died.
Dr. Jon told News 8 today that Big Ernie, the restaurant's first spokesperson is also obese. He is reportedly back on the job after he had been away after falling into a coma.
Dr. Jon said, here in Dallas, he is looking for a new spokesperson, preferably a woman.

Share/Bookmark